Cacho sends a message with Ellos hablan: it is necessary for men to advance the construction of the masculine identity towards a new masculinity that is free of gender and sexual prejudices. To this end, she claims for the construction of a peaceful, egalitarian and inclusive environment for all. The book reproduces the testimonies of men who were victims of parental violence in the form of beatings and verbal and sexual abuse. We have seen how their traumatic experiences challenge the traditional concepts of ‘being a man’ and ‘being a woman’ in the macho culture of Mexico. Cacho wonders what prevents men from abandoning patterns of violence as part of their masculinity and adopting a fluid and inclusive approach to gender construction. By asking the men specific questions about their relationships with their parents, Cacho poses a formal challenge to the traditional notions of masculinity, machismo and patriarchy in Mexico.
The stories in the book illustrate that these are not established concepts. The testimonial approach problematises the idealisation of violence as a means, survival mechanism and coercive educational instrument. Therefore, throughout the book, violence against women and children is presented as a systematic phenomenon in Mexican society, perpetuated throughout history and currently normalised at all levels. These men approach the abuse and disdain of their parents as manifestations of the male chauvinism ingrained in the culture of the country. In order to heal from the childhood trauma associated with parental abuse, Cacho proposes ‘a rite of passage’ for abused male children and women towards a new existence away from the traditional macho ethos.
Ellos hablan also addresses gender-based violence and hostility against women as normal practices in conflictive and dysfunctional settings in which domestic and sexual violence targets women and thus deprives them of their identities. Cacho points out the misogyny that sustains the global market for sexual exploitation in particular, as well as the lack of empathy among pimps and clients towards the exploited victims.
While these testimonies provide valuable material to challenge the traditional notions of masculinity, male chauvinism and patriarchy in Mexico, the theoretical part presents several problems:
(1) The book presents a sharp division between masculinities that are essentially more empathetic towards women and traditional masculinity, which follows machista and misogynistic parameters against women and other males. At the same time, Cacho argues that males tend to be united by a strong sense of gender belonging. This approach to masculinities is superficial and problematic in, for example, the context of the crisis of violence and security in the country. One wonders after reading Cacho’s hypothesis: what happens in violent and deeply macho contexts? Why do macho men not protect themselves in violent environments?
(2) Cacho poses a courageous challenge to male hegemonic power and violence as instruments of control over women and children in the home environment. However, her appeal for ‘new masculinities’ calls for the development of a shared ideology within the framework of peaceful and empathetic gender relations. This approach is somewhat idealistic and deliberately leaves out other mechanisms associated with the aforementioned State crisis in contemporary Mexico.
Despite the problems mentioned concerning the theoretical part, the book has indisputable testimonial value because it offers revealing testimonies of the male violence that affects men and women alike within the family. It also explains how violent dynamics in the home environment perpetuate misconceptions about masculinity in contemporary Mexico.